Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
