If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
