She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
