bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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