no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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