You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
