i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
