dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
