Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
