dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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