can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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