if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
