I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize