If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
