I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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