we're blogging at a bar
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
