Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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