i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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