Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
