i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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