Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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