I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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