i already hear my dad disowning me
ugly people sure do ruin things
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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