We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
