She is in my trunk
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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