don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize