it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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