Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Welp...herpes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
