I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
