YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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