Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
