I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
