So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
