guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So much rum. So many feels.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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