...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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