if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
