i would punch a child for taco bell
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize