I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
