i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize