literally had 100 drinks last night.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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