Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
