haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
