i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize