i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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