so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize