that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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