Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
