Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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