I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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