he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
