the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
