Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
