I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
