He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
