that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
