so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
