Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
