It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
