Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
