I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize