Just fell off a train. Bad.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
this is an emotional support booty call
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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